Apples vs. Bananas War 2001
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
GARY
IT’S ME
THE APPLE KING
randy
he
lost all memory of me
WHEN I LEFT YOUR BODY, I CAME TO RANDY’S HOUSE AND NOW I’M IN HIS BODY
HOW DID HE LOSE ALL MEMORY OF YOU?
the banana king
he erased it
damn that banana
ok, well since i’ve been in your body, i can transfer some of your memory to Randy, but it won’t work 100%
ok
anything is worth a try
but we have to stop the banana king
i know a way
first of all, you’ll have to get him to see a picture of an apple
how?
leave it to me
just tell randy
to pretend like he doesnt know me
when the banana king re enters him
ok
I’LL DO THHHHHHAAAATAHHHHHHHHH
WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?
nothing
WHAT HAVE YOU FOOLS BEEN UP TO?!?
I just said goodbye
While you were gone
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THE APPLE KING IS HERE
I CAN FEEL HIS PRESENCE
yes
HE WAS IN THIS BODY
he was here
WHAT DID HE TELL YOU???
he tried to save randy
but wasn’t able to
so i finally decided…
MUHAHAHAHAHA
I figured it useless to do anything to trick you again
so I made you a gift.
YES
HAHA
YOU HAVE ACCEPTED YOUR DEFEAT
Yes
HOLD ON
I HAVE TO PISS OUT SOME BANANA JUICE
OK
I HAVE RETURNED
NOW WHERE IS THAT GIFT?
ok
this gift
is a website I made for you
It’s the least I could do
WAIT
BEFORE I GO TO THIS WEBSITE
YOU MUST TELL ME, IN DETAIL, WHAT IS ON IT
Its a picture I drew of you
I hope you like it
OK
Click here!
IF IT SIGNIFIES YOUR DEFEAT AND MY VICTORY…THEN I WIL LOVE IT
WHY THANK YOU/ROAEKJJKAWRJKTELJRTL;AJRTWRT
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
APPLES!!!!!!!!!!
YOU TRICKED ME
HA
PWEJIOTNHPWRIPT634PI639-69-36IQPOTJPOMJPFOGDVKKNGKNH
you should never trust humans
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THE APPLE KING
HE’S TRYING TO RE-ENTER THIS BODY
AHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHH
WE ARE HALF-APPLE, HALF-BANANA
what
I AM THE KING OF APPANAS
AYAETYRTHYURTHJUSRY
TYTNAKTRNHKNSGMJHSFGHSG
GARY
yes
IT’S ME THE APPLE KING
yes
I was only able to destroy half of him
I WAS ONLY ABLE TO GET RANDY’S MEMORY OF YOU TO 35%
damn
HE’LL BE ACTING STRANGE FOR THE NEXT WEEK
THE ONLY WAY HE’LL BE AT 100% IS IF APPLES COME NEXT WEEKEND
ok
UEFHPAIHTPEUIAWHTR
I’M BACK
I HAVE REGAINED FULL CONTROL OF THE BODY AND THE APPLE KING IS ON THE GROUND
HE IS WEAK AND NEAR DEATH
APPLES WILL NOT BE COMING NEXT WEEKEND
Oh yes they will
AS WE SPEAK, I AM INSERTING A VIRUS INTO RANDY’S SYSTEM
HE WILL START GETTING SICK ON THRUSDAY
THEN ON FRIDAY-MONDAY HE WILL BE NEAR DEATH
ON TUESDAY HE’LL BE FINE AGAIN
AND I WILL DO THIS EVERY WEEKEND FOR ALL TIME
no
BECAUSE THERE WILL BE NO APPLE KING TO STOP ME
I HAVE PLANNED THIS A LONG TIME AGO
…
you didnt
YOU SEE, I DESIGNED A SCHOOL
WHERE YOU CAN GO ON THE COMPUTERS ALMOST ALL DAY
AND I NAMED IT BERGEN TECH
I KNEW YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO RESIST
SO THAT’S WHY YOU LEFT SBMS AND WENT TO BERGEN TECH
YOU AND RANDY GREW FURTHER AND FURTHER APART AS TIME WENT ON
THE ONLY THING HOLDING YOU TOGETHER WAS APPLES
AND NOW APPLES ARE GONE
MEMORY OR NOT, RANDY IS NO LONGER YOUR FRIEND
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA
BANANAS FOREVER
How are you Gentlemen?
All Your Base Are Belong To Us
what?
You have no chance to survive
make your time
WHAT!??
WHAT YOU SAY
WHAT AR E OYEAUPYOYUOU SAYING?
Someone set us up the bomb
STOP
You are on the way to destruction
ha ha ha
All your base your base base base base
all your base
are belong to us
OBEY JUSTICE
STOP SAYING TJ;ALTAHT
TAKE OFF EVERY ZIG
MOVE ZIG
MOVE ZIG… MOVE ZIP
SZIGA Ert?
WE KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING
TAKE OFF EVERY ZIG
HORSE
MONKEY
HIERHJAIOPWEJOPRIJALEKJR
NOOO
GOGGLES
MAMMOTH
noooooooooo
NOOOOOOOOOOO
KETCHUP
STOP
PANTS
RIOAWEJA
A
B
C
THESE WORDS
D
E
…
THEY MAKE NO SENSE
BUT THEY MAKE RANDY STRONGER
F
HE’S HURTING ME!!!!
WERAHIPTHAEIPRUGIPADFG
GOBBLE DEE GOOK
GI GI GA PI PI
HORSEMONKEY
OWWWWWW
RHWEIPUHTPUIAHWERPTAER
IYATTTTFTO,TYAAF!
BLAR!
BONUS!!
I’m a hustler baby… and I just want you to know
I’m just a love machine
I dont work for nobody but you
Transformers
more than meets the eye
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Go Go Power Rangers
do be do be do
Set a mission to destroy ourselves
on a mission to kill bananas
on a mission to
KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL
KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL
KILL BANANAS
NO
NOOOOOOOOO
YES
HA HA HA
once
NOOOOOO
there was this banana who
took a trip inside a body
and brought along his apples
and when he finally came back
he had brown spots all over his peel
STOP IT GARY
he said that it was from this kid named gary who destroyed him
I’M YOUR FRIEND
No you’re not
REMEMBER WHEN YOU USED TO EAT BANANAS LIKE ME
Randy is my friend
AND YOU LIKE ME
Bananas are for Miller
YOU THOUGHT THEY TASTED GOOD
NOOOOOOOOOOO
which brings a good song to mind
….
da na na na na na
SMACK ON
SMACK OFF
MILLER EATS BANANAS
NOOOOOOOOOOOO
HE SMACKS HIS SMALL THING
ALL OF MILLER’S SMALL THINGS
ALWAYS SMACKING
STOPPHAG4PI5HUAIU4H5
EVEN ON A FIELD TRIP
SMACKING
WAITING
I’M FADING
EATING BANANAS
HE LIKES TO SMACK OFF
HE LIKES TO SMACK OFF… SMACK ON SMACK OFF
MILLER SMACKS OFF
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
NA N AN AN AN NA NA NAN NA NA NAN
IF I WANT TO STAY ALIVE, I’LL HAVE TO LEAVE THIS BODY NOW…
hey
you wanna eat apples
GIVE ME MY BANANAS BAC
BUT I’M SO CLOSE TO VICTORY
I CAN’T LEAVE NOW
late night smacking
WAIT
he eats… bananas
I HAVE ONE
LAST CHANCE
I PUT A TENT AROUND MY BANANA
FOR SURVIVAL
SAID I WAS EATING APPLES
MUST REACH…
IT IS NOT SO
ALMOST THERE
I am away from my computer right now.
I DID NOT JACK
an away message?
hmm
we now must ponder life
Just what is an apple
ap*ple (noun)
often attributive
[Middle English appel, from Old English aeppel; akin to Old High German apful apple, Old Irish ubull, Old Church Slavonic abluko]
AHHHHHH
1 the fleshy usu. rounded and red, yellow, or green edible pome fruit of a tree (genus Malus) of the rose family; also an apple tree
2 a fruit or other vegetable production suggestive of an apple — compare OAK APPLE
RANDY TURNED OFF THE AWAY MESSAGE
– apple of one’s eye
one that is highly cherished <his daughter is the apple of his eye>
STOP
there are many types of apples
thorn apple (noun)
First appeared 1578
1 JIMSONWEED; also any plant of the same genus
2 the fruit of a hawthorn; also HAWTHORN
IF YOU DON’T STOP IMMEDIATELY, I WILL KILL RANDY
sugar apple (noun)
a tropical American tree (Annona squamosa) of the custard apple family; also its edible sweet pulpy fruit with thick green scaly rind and shining black seeds
I’M WARNING YOU
star apple (noun)
a tropical American tree (Chrysophyllum cainito) of the sapodilla family grown in warm regions for ornament or fruit; also its usu. green to purple apple-shaped edible fruit
STOP OR SAY GOOD BYE TO RANDY
oak apple (noun)
a large round gall produced on oak leaves and twigs by a gall wasp (esp. Amphibolips concluenta or Andricus quercuscalifornicus)
I SEE YOU’VE MADE YOUR DECISION
love apple (noun)
TOMATO
custard apple (noun)
I WILL PUT THE AWAY MESSAGE BACK ON
1 a any of several chiefly tropical American soft-fleshed edible fruits
b any of a genus (Annona of the family Annonaceae, the custard-apple family) of trees or shrubs bearing this fruit; especially a small West Indian tree (A. reticulata)
I CANNOT HAVE ANY INTERRUPTIONS WHILE I KILL HIM
crab apple (noun)
any of various wild or cultivated trees (genus Malus) that are cultivars or relatives of the cultivated apple and that produce small sour fruit; also the fruit
I am away from my computer right now.
I like to eat eat eat
BANANAS
I like to oat oat oat
BANANAS
I like to ute ute ute
BANANAS
what the hell
uuuuuuhhhh
i feel odd
BANANA GOD
BANANA GOD
??
yes
YOU HAVE FORSAKEN ALL OF THE FRUIT-KIND BY KILLING THAT BOY
BY THE HOUR OF 6 ON FRIDAY NIGHT… HIS BODY WILL BE RE-ENTERED IN THE MATRIX
AND YOU WILL DIE
who is speaking?
I AM NEO
NO
THATS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW
NOT NEO!!!
You have one week to live
enjoy your time in the matrix mr. banana
no
You may now continue to upload to Gman
you can’t do this
it has already been done
what have i done to deserve this???
i’m so sorry
you have taken the life of a human
i didn’t mean to
…
there may be a way
If you can bring him back… I will let you stay on Earth
to bring him back, you must say the words.
say them
what words?
and his body will be restored
the words of the bathroom
i c-can’t
then you will suffer your fate on friday
unless you say them now
i cannot do anything
i have told you all I can
I’m sorry
no…LITERALLY…I can’t say them
i’m trying
well
something…or SOMEONE…is preventing me from saying those words
IT IS I
I am the one preventing you
my name
is AGENT SMITH
no
I killed you in the subway
and you came back
I entered your body
and you came back
STOP COMING BACK
i was restored…by…
THE ORACLE
thats right
take a cookie Agent Smith
she said that you didn’t thank her for the cookie and she wanted her revenge
the oracle
thank you oracle
how could you
neo… keep your cool
free your mind
So I entered the body of Banana King and prevented him from saying the words that will reenter the boy into the matrix
right
free my mind
banana king
listen to me
he cannot hear you
and he won’t say those words Neo
he will
I wont let you win
and the boy will not be reentered into the Matrix
yes he will
I will not let YOU win Neo
you went into my body…
and that really hurt
ahh
who
what
gary
who is this?
I’m so confused
can I just have my body back
gary this is Neo
you must hack into the Matrix and reinsert Randal Reiman
how do I do that
you must find a way
so wait a minute…let me get this straight…
Ill try
Gary hates Me
Agent Smith hates Neo
Neo hate me
Oracle hates Neo
Morpheus likes Neo
My name is Trinity
I like Neo
oh lord
hes hot
too many names
i’m just a banana
I dont hate bananas
I hate what you did to randy
i don’t have that much brain compacity
so you don’t hate me?
no
YAY
I would like you even better if you said gi gi
but of course theres that damn agent
while I try and hack… you do your best to say those words
ok
ok, here goes…gi…NO, DON’T SAY IT
arg
you can’t say it
YOU
Banana…listen to me
TAKE THAT TELEPHONE CORD OUT OF YOUR EAR
AND LISTEN TO ME
If they reinsert the boy into the matrix, they’re going to kill you for what you did
no we wont
they’re going to kill me?
no
you heard Gary say it himself before…”Never trust a human”
You are a human too Mr. Smith
that’s true…you did say that
no i’m not
yes
you are
I am a machine who looks human when entered into the matrix
no
banana… any luck yet?
listen, banana, all they want is Randy back…once he’s back, they’re going to kill you!
Gary, is it true you’re going to kill me?
the zian mainframe is encoded… it might take me a while
no
i’m just gonna reinsert randy
why would I kill you?
because I tried to stop apples EVERY WEEK… plus, I kinda killed your best friend
well
you have some good points there
but I’m not a murderer
you can trust me this once
I never like to see anyone get hurt
but killing a banana is not murder…you just ate Uncle Dole before…
He wasn’t alive
plus I smashed your video game
Put it this way
your uncle was rotting
i hate myself
I’ve caused so much trouble
to everyone around me
and if I didn’t eat him… then my dad would have
I’m going to take my own life
dont hate yourself
make the best of what you hate banana
help me
YES! Take your own life…then Randy will never come back!
NO
DONT LISTEN TO HIM
YES!
NO
DONT DO THIS BANANA
say the words
the fact of the matter is you can’t trust anybody
its really simple
Neo trusted the Oracle and she stabbed him in the back
Oh morpheus…you’re so
bald
so don’t trust Gary
who wants a cookie?
Please
Gary is a H-U-M-A-N
please banana
help me
do it for randy
he’s lying
no im not
please
do it for us
shut up you stupid brat!
I have finally won
No, I can still win…for Randy…for Gary
DON’T EVEN TRY
If I can get inside the Banana King, I can override you and get him to say the words
Agent Smith It won’t work
Well…here goes nothing…
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Whta’aspjlar hepppening to mes???
YOU’RE DYING…AND RANDY’S COMING BACK!!!!!!!
GI GI
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I’M DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WILL HAVE MY VENGENCE!!!!!!!!!
…
Is he gone?
I think so…
What about Randy?
We’ll just have to hope all went well…
……………………………
RANDY?!?!?
……………………………
RANDY?!?!?
……………………………
He’s still too weak to type properly…
wwwhers’ gayr>?
He just signed off
noo….ei havve to teell him i’mmmmm ok
RANDY, I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I’M SOOOOO SORRY…
bANAna kiing????
yes?
thank you
you’re thanking me??? but i killed you…
I knnwo, but in thee end.. youu shhowed us thatt yoou reaally caared
I never meant to hurt you
oh yea…one moore thinng
yes?
YOU SUCK AT UNREAL TOURNAMENT!!!!
LOL, it looks like Randy’s back and better than ever! =)